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∞ wild IRE ∞

Into the Mystic (2020-2021)

 

∞ Robert LaSalle ∞

(2003-2020)

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Robert LaSalle 2003-2020

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∞OFFICIAL ROBERT LASALLE EPK & EULOGY∞

sanctuarywestrecords.com/epk

R.I.P.

∞

VAN

∞

WINKLE

∞

R.I.P. ∞ VAN ∞ WINKLE ∞

 
“He sang that one song in that show, what’s-it-called, oh you know, I can’t remember the name of it, that show with that guy in it from that movie, that movie in that place with that other guy, you know, it wasn’t that great of a show, but the song was OK, but anyways, I can’t remember, but that guy who sang that song, he’s dead.”
— Robert LaSalle Fan

RIP Robert LaSalle (2003-2020)

 

ENTROPIC SOCIETY OF AESTHETIC BANKRUPTCY HONOR ROBERT LASALLE FOR HIS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THESE DUMB TV SHOWS:

 

THE ROBERT LASALLE STORY, ALBUM BY ALBUM:

 

THE ROBERT LASALLE DISCOGRAPHY:

Herein lie the remains of René-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle, explorer of metaphysics. His last words were, "Fuck the music industry, fuck society, and God bless you sick, fat, phony, cunt bastards, hallelujah, Kumbaya, sayonara & good riddance." Then the wolves chewed off his jaw and he spoke no more. Though he stayed alive for nearly another hour while the wolves gnawed on him. At one point he hummed the melody to "Stayin Alive" in a wispy, gargling "agghh" tone. A small crowd gathered to rejoice. He was not well liked by humans. The wolves were quite fond of him. Amen.

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∞ faceyFuckHubTUBE ∞

(misery generator)

squeeze

∞

squeeze ∞

After deleting all social media accounts, the artist created a photo blog called FaceyFuckHubTube for absurd things no one particularly cares to see or read.

In order to like, subscribe & comment, write your response on a piece of papyrus scroll then find a swift passenger pigeon. Place your response in the garbage & tap your toes three times. Your opinion is extremely valuable & FaceyFuckHubTube thanks you in advance for having such important opinions.

sneeze

∞

sneeze ∞

Bless you steve

∞

Bless you steve ∞

Thank you

∞

Thank you ∞

you're welcome

∞

you're welcome ∞

 

<< travel to very important places

Book a car today, get lost in the desert & die with style in a shiny red sports car from Kentucky, birthplace of me, Corvettes, bourbon, hookworms, meth, tooth decay & barefoot outside indoors inside outdoors outhouse incest.

“I built a gargoyle of Mama Cass to scare away all the ham sandwiches”
— Ancient Vegetarian-American Proverb
 

Steve bless you.

In Bad Faith, Sincerely Yours,

— His Steveliness Steve Stephens of the Church of Stephenly Steve

Darwin when he was a stick bug (photo taken 396,742,973 years, 3 months, 6 days ago as of 2/24/24)

“In regards to apropos à la vis-à-vis, with respect to the subject comparable with, in connection to or relation between analogous similarities akin to, in the manner of or resembling that to which is being referenced or referred to suchlike kindred congenial cognate connate homogeny, hallelujah, kumbaya my lord.”
— Latin (& English) is a masturbatory language apropos à la vis-à-vis masturbation. Word squirt. Bless you. Thanks, Steve. Aum, men.

Dandy ass fop? Or petit-maître poseur?

17th century explorer

René-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle

(1643-1687) killed by humans

21ST CENTURY EXPLORER

RENÉ-ROBERT CAVELIER, SIEUR DE LA SALLE

(2003-2020) EATEN BY WOLVES

Very important framed human person of high status

HOT?

OR NOT?

To reply, write “like” or “dislike” on a small piece of paper, then make a small paper airplane out of it, and then place it into the toilet and flush. Your opinion is extremely valuable & FaceyFuckHubTube thanks you in advance.

Become a stevist, or you go to hell. period.

sneeze

sneeze

“If you’ve committed mistevery, stevimey, stevultry, or if you’ve strayed from steveness in any way, confess stevely to Steve in a stephenly manner with your entire stevery, or else you will be distevenized from Steve and cast out of the Church of Stephenly Steve.”
— His Steveliness Steve Stephens of the Church of Stephenly Steve
“To fuck a dick in the face, dick a face in the fuck, or to face a fuck in the dick — it’s simply a matter of perspective.”
— Very Successful Person

wodan & rudra

“I Am Wodan & I Am Rudra, West & East

I Am the Myth & I Am the Wild Ire”

Wodan the Wanderer, Creator & Destroyer, trading his eye for Wisdom & gaining gifts of Language & Poetry - accompanied by 2 ravenous wolves & 2 ravens (Thought & Memory)

Rudra is the howling Wild Ire, Creator & Destroyer, roaring the Universe into Existence.

In the beginning, a series of big bangs roars like an engine, time & space are born & billions of years later, humans continue the vibration of that same primordial roar as we Create & Destroy Time & Space through this Existence.

Ancient American Wisdom

“If you need head surgery, gas station attendant or spiritual guidance, we’re here to help”
— Ancient Indian-American Stereotype
“We invented mathematics, too”
— Indian
“We’re not Indians”
— Native American
“We were here before Amerigo Vespucci, so calling us Native Americans is equally absurd. ”
— Human who was here before white people
“You say to-mah-to, and I say it the right way”
— American
“One man’s trash is another man’s rubbish”
— Ancient American/English Semantical Dichotomy
“Ooo, Ooo, yeah, ee, yeah, uh”
— American-Inspired Music Singer of Olde Anglia, Robert de la Plant
“I Am”
— Eastern
“I think therefore I Am”
— Western
“I Am That I Am”
— God
“God Thinks?!”
— Idiot
““It’s all isness.”
“Isn’t isn’tness too?”
“Nope, it isn’t isn’tness, only isness.””
— Ancient New-Age-American Confusion

Beethoven (left) & William Blake (both devout stevists) died in 1827

Fun fact: all humans looked dead in the 19th century

This is a visual depiction of the life of Robert LaSalle.

[art by William Blake]

“Just get your 238th job & 183rd home & 48th psychiatrist & try your 89th combination of pills & pray your ten thousandth prayer.”

“So this time my home & my peace & my livelihood won’t get attacked by assaults, muggings, robberies, bedbug infestations, fires, destruction & insanity?”

“Clearly it’s your fault. Just get a job. Get a house. Pray. Take some pills. It’s easy. We’re all doing it, see?”

Two decades went on like this until the wolves finally gnawed him to bits.

“I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you!”
— Job 16:2

I think I'm lost, is it this way? Are you sure? I'm going to try to make an arch then go back downward if that's alright with you. Oh, damn, this again? This is quite a repetitive process, isn't it? Does it actually go on this way forever? Dear God, let me out! HEY! Anybody out there?! I'm stuck on a roller coaster of letters, and I think it's a metaphor for life. Yeah, I get it samsara. I'm ready to leave this redundant cycle now. Please?! God?! Ah shit, I have to do another round. I see it coming n-----

I think I'm lost, is it this way? Are you sure? I'm going to try to make an arch then go back downward if that's alright with you. Oh, damn, this again? This is quite a repetitive process, isn't it? Does it actually go on this way forever? Dear God, let me out! HEY! Anybody out there?! I'm stuck on a roller coaster of letters, and I think it's a metaphor for life. Yeah, I get it samsara. I'm ready to leave this redundant cycle now. Please?! God?! Ah shit, I have to do another round. I see it coming n-----

true things

Robert LaSalle, when embodied in human form, was a howlin’ Howland, direct descendant of John Howland who fell off the Mayflower into the Atlantic on the way to the new world. If crew hadn’t thrown him a rope, the artist would’ve only been a moth or a bear. Then again, 1620 at Plymouth, half the Mayflower passengers died the first winter. Howland lived. He’s the thirteenth signer of the Mayflower Compact, the governing principles which would become these United States of America. Unfortunately Howland lived & reproduced, and due to his survival, several generations later the artist became a human instead of a moth, entering into the music industry & being devoured by wolves. R.I.P. LaSalle

Song

about

a

shipwreck

The artist has a long family history of not dying, although most of them do eventually die. If Captain Hardwick hadn’t insisted his son Henry stay in boarding school, the artist would’ve been a squirrel. The orphan Henry Hardwick was LaSalle’s Great-Great-Great Grandfather.

WOOF.

People across the globe have always referred to the artist’s ravenous friends as "Dog Star" or "Wolf Star,” the brightest star in the sky, long said to be the origin of earthly life.

Oceans apart, ancients from every earthly continent & island always found the same Great Truth in this star, which appears as one star but is actually 2 stars, Wodan’s closest companions, Canis Minor & Canis Major (Greater Dog)

Woof

∞

Woof ∞

MIC CHECK SNAKE

Testing… testing… syphilis… syph… one-two… two… two… syphilis…

Testing… testing… syphilis… syph… one-two… two… two… syphilis…

Please enjoy this song about a cat.

Do Not Consume the cat.

this is not good cat.

very bland.

Meow

∞

Meow ∞

Your IQ: 35

Scores based on your willingness to believe a quick online test has accurately assessed your overall intelligence

Your Personality Type: BLAB

You’re the type of person who begins sentences with, “I’m the type of person who…” and one whom believes labels, descriptors, accolades and superlatives give you a deeper understanding of Self (false self)

Your Emotional IQ: Green

Green square nine walrus February who cares

Your Zodiac: Pigeon

Flies in circles, fails self-exploration, believes personality traits, likes and dislikes are “insightful” 

Your Friends character: Extra

You’re an extra from season 3 who appeared briefly in one scene but had no speaking role.

For questions, comments, likes, subscribes, shares & follows, please write your message on papyrus scroll, neatly fold papyrus into paper airplane, throw it towards nearest passenger pigeon, pick it back up, strike match on side of box, burn scroll, flush ashes, tap shoes 3 times, brush your teeth while doing the macarena, rinse & repeat. The Artist Formerly Known As Robert LaSalle looks forward to your response & thanks you in advance for having such important opinions.

squeeze

squeeze

very intimidating squeeze^

Posing for Renoir

Soon after devouring Robert LaSalle

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The artist wrote this painting with words on a hotel wall in San Fran behind an offensively hideous framed painting of tulips.

squeeze

∞

squeeze ∞

>>>

>>>.

>>>.

<<<<<<<<<<


The artist formerly known as Robert LaSalle hopes you enjoy this song. It is made from clay.

<<<<<<<<<<

 >>>.

>>>.

>>>

I don't owe you anything

I don't owe you anything



I’m in debt to a memory

All I own is tomorrow

Take it away from me

Yesterday will follow

The rest of me

Bought and sold to sorrow



One more soul to barter

Make a bet with me

Find the deepest waters

Debt for destiny

If feathers float on broken wings

If sorrow sinks

I don't owe you anything

I don’t… 



Fly into the water



Sorrow (sorrow)

Sorrow (sorrow)



I never thought I'd have to choose

Well I thought I’d paid my dues

A bet I thought I couldn't lose

What's my debt

Well I kept

A promise that I made to you 



If you're gonna use me

Use me for the truth

If you're gonna use me

Use me for something new

If you're gonna use me… Use me!



Use me



Let my love be martyred

Let my lungs be hollowed

Anchored to the sea

Let my conscience swallow

Her misery



Sorrow (sorrow)

Sorrow (sorrow)

I don't owe you anything



Follow me down 

I'd rather take the lead 

I know I'll never be hollow

Feathers still float, anchored to me

But I'll sink  

To the deepest water

Swimming back to me

Begging me in borrow

My depth is in debt to a broken wing



Sorrow… 

You are only memories 

(Sorrow, sorrow)

I don't owe you anything!



Oh, I don't owe you anything

I don't owe you anything

I believe that the universe was invented by a very small man named Steve in 1882, and if thy resisteth evil throughout thy life, in death thou shall get to chill on a marshmallow cloud, but if thou let evil prevail, thou shall spend eternity in rural Texas. My name's Robert Nicholas, but sometimes people call me Da Buddha, either because I'm shiny or I’m fat. I was born inside of a whale, somewhere southeast of Newfoundland. When I was 3 months old, I swam to America and was adopted by an abortion clinic. When I was 10, I paddled back out into the Atlantic Ocean on a raft I made out of 3,762 cartons of Camel Wides. I don't remember much of my teenage years, as I began fermenting, distilling and consuming fermented and distilled spadefish. I also smoked a considerable amount of salt-laced seaweed i.e. 'oceandust' during this time. I am now 24 years of age and fully intend on staying this age until I die of old age. Upon my death, I'd like my body to be consumed by a wild boar, piece by piece, throughout the nine days following my death. On the tenth day following my death, I'd like my surviving family and friends to roast the boar and eat it. Some of my phobias include dried fruits that perform rock music, people made from used auto parts, Decatur County Jail, the spoonful of sugar following the medicine, pretty nannies with flying umbrellas, and people who think they're smarter than me because they know how to spell the word iksy-cali-frajiless-in-crispy-alatroshus. These are a few of my favorite things. As for superpowers, I think the cat's out of the bag, nudge nudge wink wink. I'm Batman. Here are some of my favorite quotes: "Jesus Christ, ya'll chill out. It’s not that big of a deal." -God "If thy resists evil throughout life, in death thou shall get to chill on a marshmallow cloud, but if thou let evil prevail, thou shall spend eternity in rural Texas." -Steve “I am to blame for most of the things.” -Ronald Reagan I am an “artist.” -Miley Cyrus “Verily verily I say unto you, if a canine poopoo in thy yard, spread the other cheek and poo on the dog.” -Mathew 5:39 What other people are saying about Robert LaSalle: Everybody who hears my music says, "Why are you not signed?" I say, "I have no f--ing idea." And then they say, "Oh, probably 'cuz you're an a--hole." And I say, "Yeah. That's probably why."

I believe that the universe was invented by a very small man named Steve in 1882, and if thy resisteth evil throughout thy life, in death thou shall get to chill on a marshmallow cloud, but if thou let evil prevail, thou shall spend eternity in rural Texas. My name's Robert Nicholas, but sometimes people call me Da Buddha, either because I'm shiny or I’m fat. I was born inside of a whale, somewhere southeast of Newfoundland. When I was 3 months old, I swam to America and was adopted by an abortion clinic. When I was 10, I paddled back out into the Atlantic Ocean on a raft I made out of 3,762 cartons of Camel Wides. I don't remember much of my teenage years, as I began fermenting, distilling and consuming fermented and distilled spadefish. I also smoked a considerable amount of salt-laced seaweed i.e. 'oceandust' during this time. I am now 24 years of age and fully intend on staying this age until I die of old age. Upon my death, I'd like my body to be consumed by a wild boar, piece by piece, throughout the nine days following my death. On the tenth day following my death, I'd like my surviving family and friends to roast the boar and eat it. Some of my phobias include dried fruits that perform rock music, people made from used auto parts, Decatur County Jail, the spoonful of sugar following the medicine, pretty nannies with flying umbrellas, and people who think they're smarter than me because they know how to spell the word iksy-cali-frajiless-in-crispy-alatroshus. These are a few of my favorite things. As for superpowers, I think the cat's out of the bag, nudge nudge wink wink. I'm Batman. Here are some of my favorite quotes: "Jesus Christ, ya'll chill out. It’s not that big of a deal." -God "If thy resists evil throughout life, in death thou shall get to chill on a marshmallow cloud, but if thou let evil prevail, thou shall spend eternity in rural Texas." -Steve “I am to blame for most of the things.” -Ronald Reagan I am an “artist.” -Miley Cyrus “Verily verily I say unto you, if a canine poopoo in thy yard, spread the other cheek and poo on the dog.” -Mathew 5:39 What other people are saying about Robert LaSalle: Everybody who hears my music says, "Why are you not signed?" I say, "I have no f--ing idea." And then they say, "Oh, probably 'cuz you're an a--hole." And I say, "Yeah. That's probably why."